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I probably will not be around much, if at all, for the foreseeable future. At least in-game; these forums I will stop by here and there, as I'm wont to do.


I have more than a full course load this semester (6 classes instead of 5). I'm still working, though I will probably call-off and take the isolation so I don't have to go for a while. I've been in and out of the hospital. Anyway, I broke my mouse and headset a few weeks ago and haven't used my gaming computer since. Just got my laptop right now, and that's strictly for school or internet browsing.


Glad to see the 8th is still going strong so many months later since we started it. I hope this good activity continues. This will always be my favorite community. I feel I'll be missing you all, but it seems God has some other plans right now.


I'm in a very strange place; it's confusing. I don't know how best to explain everything that's happening. There's too much I'm trying to make sense of right now, and life seems to just be getting worse, and more convoluted. But probably the most difficult thing is never having been more alone in my life than now. The time when I need family most, because none of us are getting any younger, is when I'm hours and hundreds of miles away from all of them for 90% of the year. The time when I need REAL friends the most, is when all of the ones I had are gone, far away. It feels like lying to myself to consider roommates anything other than roommates, or co-workers anything other than co-workers. Just because they don't murder you in your sleep or just because you can talk with somebody you work with doesn't make you friends.


A friend is something totally different man. Somebody you've been through thick and thin with. Somebody you've had all sorts of experiences with, and someone you've literally grown together with. A friend is somebody who you can almost communicate with telepathically, who gets and appreciates your sense of humor, who wants what's best for you and will stick their neck out for you without you even asking. It's just not the fucking same; just being "nice", or "easy to talk to", or "funny", or some stupid bullshit like that, does not a friend make. Going away to college to achieve... "something" just feels like trading away priceless, irreplaceable relationships for something totally not worth that cost. By the time I've come back I'll have lost at least 4 family members, have my parents' divorce to deal with, and I'll have a bunch of bridges to repair and rebuild with the few friends I've got left. And what if I just go straight from here to some other place to start my career? What if I never have a chance to be with anybody I love, blood or water, at all? Why is such a path so heavily pursued and pushed by society? A path where you just leave all your family and friends behind and lose pretty much all of them while being too far away and out of touch to do a God damned thing about it?


Well, I'm sure I'll come back around eventually, inevitably, even if it's just to find that everybody is gone. This community is one of the few things I have because of my life situation. Just right now I've got too many responsibilities to take care of, and too much real-life shittyness to deal with. Plus I was a little burned out on the video games. So take care. I'll be in touch on here, or Discord / Steam (mobile), and that's about it.



Edited by Fox
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Resident Weeb

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." - Søren Kierkegaard

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